I’m a planner. So much so that my husband and dad shared a giggle yesterday about my plan to measure out the truck bed and tape off a corner of the room to make sure it all fits for moving day. And yes, I’ve taken the wheel wells into consideration. I do my homework. Details matter to me. When there’s a big decision approaching, I usually have spreadsheets or binders put together day one. There’s always a pros and cons list involved. I am the queen of lists. There were daily list in my dating days to keep phone conversations moving along. Every question or story I wanted to talk about got covered. No dead air. My husband Lee still teases me about that. Now that you know more about how I operate you’ll understand why I have aged 2 years in the last 5 months.
Once I have a plan in place it is hard for me if things change and with moving they always do. I mean I worked hard coming up with what we are doing. There was time, energy, and brain power that went into making those choices. I am indecisive about things I don’t feel matter too much. In nearly 9 years of marriage, I have chosen the restaurant we eat at only a couple of times. He’s asked. I just don’t care. For my wedding, I chose the colors and my poor mom planned the rest. I wanted to be married. I picked the guy and that was the biggest decision of all. So yeah maybe choosing isn’t always my thing but generally I choose well. On the big stuff, I do choose. I also put in the work to make it all happen. I think that’s what’s frustrating about change. It seems like we start back over. That and without knowing the details I feel less in control. I’ve had to stop and take a deep breath just after that last sentence. Sad isn’t it? I have a tendency to get bogged down and overwhelmed. These changes set that off. Now to show you what I am talking about…
We’ve changed our moving plan again and again. At least 6 times from my count. New information is coming in all the time and our move is evolving in every way. In the beginning, we were taking ALL of our stuff. That was a stupid idea. We don’t own many fancy things and certainly it can all be replaced. So it wasn’t too hard to bail on that one. Next, we were going to drive the truck and pull the car on the trailer. We figured we could ride all together and load both the truck bed and entire car with what we kept. After that we planned to sell our car and pick one up halfway through in Tennessee. That would put us in the truck with a small Uhaul type trailer on the back until we drove separately. My father in law offered to drive that from TN to CT for us. We couldn’t say no to that kind offer! Now we were riding together in the truck with a small trailer behind the 5 of us together the ENTIRE way.
Nope. There’s a new plan in the works. We were given Southwest Airline buddy passes by my husband’s step mom. What a good deal that is! This cuts our travel time with the kids from 51 hours driving to probably a 12 hour day. No matter how long the day is I’ll take it. I imagine strapping kids in that 4th day of driving would have been miserable. I’m not going to lie though. I was a little bummed that the road trip was off. I’ve hyped it to my family for months now. We tacked on 100 miles just so my husband could get to stop in 2 BBQ states, Texas and Tennessee. For me, I just wanted to see the beauty of this great country in the spring. I thought I still could get a chance to do that (sans children) when first getting the air tickets. My new plan was to drive our truck and stuff over with my husband. We get there and get into an apartment. At that point, I thought I’d fly back to AZ to fly over with the little ones while my spouse unpacks our things. Plans change again. My mother in law offered to drive our truck so we can all fly together. Bless her. Can you tell we have great support? It makes moving both easier and more difficult.
Let’s hope that’s where the twists and turns end. I already have listed us on a non-revenue flight. Most know that buddy passes mean flying standby, which is somewhat risky. It’s possible to be bumped to another flight even after receiving the itinerary. Oh and in order to use the tickets we have to move 2 weeks earlier. Since finding out we were headed to CT in November our move date has moved up an entire month. So here we are…
Our plan is now to fly with the kids. My father in law drives the car to CT. Lee’s mother and step dad will drive our truck and only a truck bed (no trailer) of our stuff to a town that is still yet to be decided. For months now I have been in an endless research mode trying to find a safe, affordable apartment that has a good elementary school and is close enough to the college. It doesn’t feel like much has come together yet. Another deep breath. This week we hope to have an address. As of right now we have my housing spreadsheet with a few landlord contacts. It’ll happen. It’ll happen. It’s got to happen. I only have 21 days left. Alright I think that’s enough thinking for me or I’ll never get back to sleep. Stay tuned!
**By the way, I think everyone who moves across the country is allowed at least one panic attack. I hope you enjoyed mine. I’m done now. A slice of pineapple upside down cake should help me get through this. Yep. I’m going to be okay.
I used to wonder why people would ever abandon their homes. It’s becoming more and more clear to me. It’s just stuff. Plus paying to ship it might cost more than the item is even worth. Especially when with things that aren’t difficult to replace. To keep anything is killing me. I want to be down to bare bones already but we still have to live the two months we have left. I guess I am feeling the pressure of our decision to move. I hate having the extra stuff all of a sudden. Well, I’ve hated the clutter for a LONG time. I’ve just put up with it because I figured I had kids and that’s how life had to be. It’s just now I have a reason for it to go away and no wand to make it disappear. It is happening one pile or trash bag at a time but if I could, nothing would stay.
There has been progress made. Friends and family claimed our furniture months ago. My wedding dress is hanging in a storage closet with family. I’m not taking hardly any of my wardrobe. Clothes for the trip over but as for the rest of it? I honestly don’t care. I mean, who wants to wear outdated transitional after baby clothes when trying to start a new life and make good first impressions? I’ve saved my allotted space for something far more important. Drum roll please. It’s my mixer. We’ve bonded and cannot be separated. My KitchenAid has a moving label reserved for it and has since day one. It’ll ride the 2600 mile journey on my lap if I have to. I love chocolate chip cookies that much and only this machine will do. Many other things I’m far less decisive about. Which brings me to my point. (You’ve waited long enough, right?)
I’ve got to say I’ve been tempted to bail on all this stuff a time or two in this process. Walking away would be easier. Certainly with the week I’ve had. To recap: husband’s had surgery, late night ER visit for my baby (fever seizure), and bug spray for the house that displaced our family for two days. Not to mention all the normal everyday things we do. Oh and the virus the little girl had she generously shared with me. Love her! So I was out of commission for close to two of those days.
Even with all this going on we still found small ways to be productive. I sold a bookshelf, took Craigslist photos, and cleared out an extra freezer. The pantry and the fridge got crossed off the list too. The best advice I could give myself when looking at my food supply was to remember that I was either going to throw it away now or two months from now. It was the easiest cleaning I’ve done. Trash… trash… TRASH! Now for the rest of the house…
A two bedroom apartment is looking pretty good to me. No room for junk! Where do I sign?
We will be driving 2641 miles, through 11 states, in 44+ hours, over 4 days time, with 3 kids in tow (6 years, 3 years, and 10 months)! Please excuse my run on sentence. It was just more powerful to write it all together like that. Back to the move…We’ve got just over two months left to get it all done before we head out into the unknown. What makes this so big? This trip’s only the beginning of our grad school journey. We’ll have entirely new lives when we hit the coast. If I had to choose just one word to sum this whole experience up then it would be adventure. We don’t know how we’ll get there but we’ve got a good destination in mind. Come along with us by following this blog.